i'm living a hollow shell of a life. i don't go outside, i don't do anything interesting, i don't have irl friends, the fact that i even make that distinction is indicative enough. i was out trying to buy dxm but i was retarded and asked for 6 whole bottles of cough syrup and obviously the pharmacist refused to sell them to me, claimed they were out of stock. on my way back home, i realized that i sort of dread going back to my room. feel an urge to run away, but i haven't got anywhere to go. when i'm in my room, i dread being outside. i enjoy going on walks, but i hate people and interacting with them. i'm very tired of it all. i should stop muttering things about killing myself out loud in the street, it's a habit because i'm alone all the time, and i'm too oblivious about how loud i am. don't know if people can hear. i wish that at the very least i could get fucked up more often. might try to get more acid soon.