gggggg. fuck. gin is awful, just the worst. after a while drining gin i once had a glass of vodka and thought "finally back to something mild". just the worst this stuff is. feel all the wrong things really. i wish she loved me back. i wiiiish. i don't know what to do about it. i hope i get to physically meet her someday, show her a good time. i want nothing more. just want to see her be happy. gin warms my innards but i know that warmth will leave me soon. i know i willfeel empty again.