you show up to the door scabs n bandaids
"there's no telling when she'd be back"
you scuffle out some money you want the acid they know you want the acid they don't care who you are they just want to sell you the acid they are cynical and tired and they just want to sell you the acid and eat and shit flavorless bricks again and again because what else would they do? they just know you want the acid and that gets them what they need

you show up to the door scabs n bandaids
"there's no telling when she'd be back"
lost again and again they lose them they slip through they were never looking out for them they just didn't know what to do they didn't seem to understand what was happening right in front of them and they lose them again and again maybe 1 in 2 and they'll just say the other one was built better

you show up to the door scabs n bandaids n cigarettes
"there's no telling when she'd be back"
smells like scum and smoke everywhere all the time smells like loss and tiredness and smells always like cigarettes but never booze only ash and smoke in the air only fumes fumes blow from vents steaming hot and they make you feel like a rat in the streets and when you walk around at dark you scurry like a rat and run from the Things that Scare you because they are too much for you to know yes even know you cannot know them they are too much for you to know

you show up to the door scabs n bandaids n cigarettes n spilled coffee
"there's no telling when she'd be back"
you smell bitter you are bitter nothing runs on you but shame n wakefulness chems you want to eat up your shirt and bite down hard on the cloth there is nothing but chems on you bitter chems you know the cloth is stiff and crusty with all the spills and stains and you want nothing more than gauze in your mouth to bite down hard on to bite down on the gauze you want the words to fill your mouth and foam up you want to bite down on the gauze you want the gauze to take you in like soft bedding you want gauze

you want to disappear on these streets